We’re living the
dream!
I’m not trying to be a downer, but let me just put this out
there - If you’re working and planning and dreaming towards some lifelong goal,
putting everything you’ve got into that future pot. Well, it might not be all
it’s cracked up to be.
Maybe you want to be married. Or have children. Or just go
on a date for crying out loud. Maybe you want that promotion, that other job,
that scholarship. So you, like us, scrimp and save and work your tail off.
You make a five year plan, a ten year plan, whatever it takes. You tell yourself
all the sacrifice now will be worth it in the end. You’ll get your dream and
you’ll be happy. You’ll finally be fulfilled.
But what if you’re not? I mean, I’m not.
Oh you might have a really good honeymoon phase once you get
that dream. That marriage, it’ll be so romantic in the beginning. You’ll be
with the love of your life and feel like you can take on the world together. Then
you’ll get in a stupid fight over scrambled verses sunny side up eggs for
breakfast.
That beautiful child you bring home, the one you look
at and think God how can he be so
perfect! Will turn four and speak to you with more sass and rolled eyes than
your 15 year old hormonal self ever did.
That other job will feel so good, you’ve finally got the title
you’ve been working towards. Except there’s now that one super annoying
co-worker and a heck of a lot more responsibility. Maybe the money is better,
but you’re working harder and later.
Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a forget about your dreams message. It’s more of a Hey, your dreams are cool but they’ll split
you sideways.
I am living my dream, but my left eye has been twitching for
a week from stress. I’m so thankful to be stay at home mommying, but this
morning all my son did was fight. I can’t believe how privileged I am to
record Papuan life stories for a biography project, but my brain literally
aches from thinking so much in Indonesian. I’m enormously proud of my husband’s
flying, but he comes home exhausted. I love living in another country, but miss
the anonymity of just blending in.
Sometimes, it all just kind of sucks.
Bottom line - If you’re assuming that dream is going to usher
in some new joyous existence, that your self-esteem will flourish, you’ll
finally feel fulfilled, you’ll wake up each morning knowing beyond a shadow of
a doubt this is what you were born to do, well…
That’s not exactly what happens, or at least it isn’t what
happened for me.
It’s more like Wow,
this is a lot more than I thought it would be. I’d better get to work.
***
“Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the tradewinds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"Also, throw up."
- Kay Bruner
 |
| Dream: Flying out to a jungle village! Reality: Air sick and vomiting the whole way. |
